The New Normal: Is It Really Normal?

Interesting how certain new phrases weave themselves into our vocabularies. Have you heard, "the new normal"? It's alliterative; it's succinct. But I would like to consider where it's abusive to use in some difficult situations.

Recently, we were stunned by the killing of 50 worshippers in two mosques in New Zealand. What stunned us was the number of people murdered in a relatively placid country. "Well," somebody said, "This is a part of the new normal." Violence is a staple of our lives. In our own country, school children, worshippers in Jewish temples, Sikh temples, Islamic mosques, and Christian churches have been slaughtered for the "crime" of gathering to pray, read their holy books, and listen to a message from their spiritual leaders.

Is this "the new normal"? Is this what we have to accept? The only answer to a bad person with a gun is a good person with a gun? This is "the new normal"? Why does it have to be this way? Where is the moral outrage in our halls of power and in some of our Christian churches that cries, "This is not normal" when our children have to fear that somebody armed to the teeth will invade their schools, and some of them will never go to their homes again. Is this "the new normal"?

A second way in which I hear the phrase, "the new normal" is a supposed word of comfort for somebody going through a time of loss and grief. "I'm sorry that your father died, but I will praying for you as you adjust to your "new normal"." If we say that, we don't understand loss and we haven't heard what Anne Lamott said: "When you lose someone you can't live without your heart will be badly broken, and the bad news is that you will never completely get over the loss of your beloved."

Our family has discovered how heavy grief can be. Thirty-six years ago, our son, David, was diagnosed with a brain tumor. Are we grateful that he's alive? Of course! Are we sad that he's changed? Yes! Diane and I are his world. What if something happened to us? We're not growing younger. David not only loves us but also depends on us. What about the frail woman whose husband is in the nursing home? What about the parents of a child who suffers from a chronic condition?

I realize that it takes more long-term energy to care for persons with chronic conditions, but the "new normal" for a church is not to leave people isolated and struggling by themselves.

What about a new emphasis on leadership initiatives in our congregations? For example, in many churches, the deacon body is charged with the pastoral care of the congregation. Along with the pastor and other ministerial staff, they tend to the needs of the congregants.

All of this requires not just commitment but training in meeting the needs, lines of communication where caregivers are aware of the concerns of people in the church, even of those who are not the most vocal. Do the deacons know their families well enough not only to be alert to crises but also to chronic situations? Caregivers, whether deacons or not, should make certain that they are attentive and present to all the people. Nothing may be sadder than when somebody who is hurting feels that she is in a ditch, and everybody passes by. Fred Craddock didn't say, "Leave the rest to God," but that surrender to God follows other phrases including, "Love generously." When I don't care for others, that is not "the new normal".

Finally, I want to touch on one other issue. Too many churches have plateaued or are declining. There are reasons for some of this. Some places of worship are located in areas that mitigate against growth.

I also know that fewer people are attending church. Some ministers pine for the 1950s and 1960s, when television characters in sitcoms wore high heels and ties around the house through the week and then wore them to church as they herded their children with them.

Times have dramatically changed. What can a minister and the leaders of the church do? What if our goal is faithfulness and not success? What if the worship service is shaped with the needs of people in mind? What if the motivating force for the pastor is to take a biblical text and connect it to the lives of the listeners? What if the church seeks a balance between looking outside its buildings to address social injustice by speaking truth to power? At the same time, the church invites people into her place of worship so that by the power of the Spirit of God, lives can be transformed.

Nobody can guarantee success if our goal is more people, more buildings and more money. After all, that wasn't Jesus' goal, or if it was, Jesus didn't do that well.

What if our aim is faithfulness to God and to others? Well, if it is, I don't think we're going to call our declining churches, "the new normal". Rather, we offer ourselves to The Holy One, and then... we leave the rest to God.

Live simply,
Love generously,
Care deeply,
Speak kindly,
Pray daily,
And then... leave the rest to God.