Bob Payne: I Never Really Thanked You
New Testament scholars remind us that the Greek word, "charis", means both "grace" and "gratitude". From the standpoint of the person offering love, it is called grace. From the one receiving that love, "charis" is gratitude.
Fred Craddock challenges us by saying that the final work of God's grace is to make us gracious. When I was a child, my parents taught me to say, "Thank you". Then, "What do you say, Chuck," my mother admonished when someone gave me a gift. "Thank you." My mother has died, but I had always wished that she had let me take the initiative. After countless, "What do you say, Chuck?", I could have said it without any prompting.
I have been thinking a lot about Bob Payne. I started attending Training Union (which many of you don't remember). Bob was in his mid-20s, a banker and a graduate of Florida State University, where he had been a campus leader. I think Bob started me on the trail of running for offices. He was both "sharp" and "cool", and the last thing that I wanted to be was "dull" and "boring".
In Training Union our booklet had sections which most people read. Not so with Bob Payne. We had to learn our parts and present them with no notes. For whatever reason, Bob saw something in me, and encouraged whatever speaking abilities that I had. Bob may have been the first one to suggest that I become a minister.
After I left for college, Bob joined an Episcopal church. (We Baptists lose more bankers to the Episcopalians.) Did I try to contact him? No! Did I tell him that I was in college studying to be a minister? No! If the final test of grace is to make us gracious, I failed that test with Bob Payne.
I don't even know if Bob Payne is still living. Did I ever really thank him for all that he meant to my life? I'm sure that periodically I said, "thanks", as my mother taught me, but did I ever let him know that he had helped to change my life? Now it's too late. Unfortunately, I realize that gratitude is more than saying "thanks". It's becoming filled with grace and allowing that grace to spill out of us into the lives of others.
Why is it so hard for some of us who've received the grace of God and of others to say thanks and to be thankful in a deep, meaningful way? Are we afraid that the person we thank will shrug it off and say, "It was really nothing"? Are we fearful that really expressing gratitude will make us vulnerable and dependent on how others respond?
All that I know is that Bob Payne, and so many others have given me so much of themselves. The final test of grace is to make us gracious, and I have not passed that test too many times.
Practice random acts of kindness. What a wonderful thing when somebody gives us a gift and it's not even a holiday! What if somebody surprises us with words of encouragement and love, and that person doesn't even know that it's a day when we are questioning our own self-worth.
Practice random acts of kindness - they are surprises of grace. What about practicing intentional acts of kindness and gratitude. What if we could live outside of our own selves, our own problems, our own aspirations, our own hurt feelings, and realize that many people around us seldom, if ever, hear a gracious word.
So, Bob Payne, and so many others, if you can hear me, please know how much difference you have made in my life. And Bob, you will be happy to know that I went to seminary and even learned a few Greek words. So Bob, "charis" to you for all the blessings you gave me.
1) So much of my life has been built on achievement. As I grow older, I realize that it's more difficult to measure life that way. Thank you, God, for your "charis". Then... help me to leave the rest to God.
2) Why didn't I thank Bob Payne? Did I think that he didn't need my gratitude? God of grace, help me to be more gracious... help me to love more generously.
Live simply,
Love generously,
Care deeply,
Speak kindly,
Pray daily,
And then... leave the rest to God.
Fred Craddock challenges us by saying that the final work of God's grace is to make us gracious. When I was a child, my parents taught me to say, "Thank you". Then, "What do you say, Chuck," my mother admonished when someone gave me a gift. "Thank you." My mother has died, but I had always wished that she had let me take the initiative. After countless, "What do you say, Chuck?", I could have said it without any prompting.
I have been thinking a lot about Bob Payne. I started attending Training Union (which many of you don't remember). Bob was in his mid-20s, a banker and a graduate of Florida State University, where he had been a campus leader. I think Bob started me on the trail of running for offices. He was both "sharp" and "cool", and the last thing that I wanted to be was "dull" and "boring".
In Training Union our booklet had sections which most people read. Not so with Bob Payne. We had to learn our parts and present them with no notes. For whatever reason, Bob saw something in me, and encouraged whatever speaking abilities that I had. Bob may have been the first one to suggest that I become a minister.
After I left for college, Bob joined an Episcopal church. (We Baptists lose more bankers to the Episcopalians.) Did I try to contact him? No! Did I tell him that I was in college studying to be a minister? No! If the final test of grace is to make us gracious, I failed that test with Bob Payne.
I don't even know if Bob Payne is still living. Did I ever really thank him for all that he meant to my life? I'm sure that periodically I said, "thanks", as my mother taught me, but did I ever let him know that he had helped to change my life? Now it's too late. Unfortunately, I realize that gratitude is more than saying "thanks". It's becoming filled with grace and allowing that grace to spill out of us into the lives of others.
Why is it so hard for some of us who've received the grace of God and of others to say thanks and to be thankful in a deep, meaningful way? Are we afraid that the person we thank will shrug it off and say, "It was really nothing"? Are we fearful that really expressing gratitude will make us vulnerable and dependent on how others respond?
All that I know is that Bob Payne, and so many others have given me so much of themselves. The final test of grace is to make us gracious, and I have not passed that test too many times.
Practice random acts of kindness. What a wonderful thing when somebody gives us a gift and it's not even a holiday! What if somebody surprises us with words of encouragement and love, and that person doesn't even know that it's a day when we are questioning our own self-worth.
Practice random acts of kindness - they are surprises of grace. What about practicing intentional acts of kindness and gratitude. What if we could live outside of our own selves, our own problems, our own aspirations, our own hurt feelings, and realize that many people around us seldom, if ever, hear a gracious word.
So, Bob Payne, and so many others, if you can hear me, please know how much difference you have made in my life. And Bob, you will be happy to know that I went to seminary and even learned a few Greek words. So Bob, "charis" to you for all the blessings you gave me.
1) So much of my life has been built on achievement. As I grow older, I realize that it's more difficult to measure life that way. Thank you, God, for your "charis". Then... help me to leave the rest to God.
2) Why didn't I thank Bob Payne? Did I think that he didn't need my gratitude? God of grace, help me to be more gracious... help me to love more generously.
Live simply,
Love generously,
Care deeply,
Speak kindly,
Pray daily,
And then... leave the rest to God.
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