Leadership Part 2: Sacred Listening
In my previous blog, I talked about Dr. Ronald Haifetz's reminder that a leader is to maintain a "sacred heart". That is, those who lead must keep a sense of wonder and awe, and I would add a sense of the God revealed in Jesus Christ. Otherwise, we can become cynical and see leadership as little more than imposing our will on others.
Some of the responses I received from my previous blog focused on the word "leadership". Some of you who responded didn't disagree with the idea of "sacred heart", but many of you said, "I'm quiet", "I don't like to be the chairperson of a committee," or "My idea of a leader is a 'take-charge' person, and that's not who I am."
Do you mind if I disagree with you? A second quality of leadership is "sacred listening". Have you ever been in a group where those who like to "babble on" about situations but never come to any resolutions? Others in the group aren't listening but are just waiting to interrupt and to inject their opinions. After a little while, a person on the edges of the group says, "I've been listening to each of you. Have we ever thought of this as a possible answer to our concerns?" she says.
The room falls quiet. She's nailed it. Now who is the leader in that room? Look at what's happened. People are not listening to each other. People are talking over and around each other. So-called leaders are wanting the credit - wanting to win the argument, and not really listening.
Sacred listening requires that we are aware of our own egos and that we are not formulating responses in our minds and paying little, if any, attention to what someone is saying. The older that I get, the more that I want someone to listen to me. Maybe that person won't have the answers because there are no easy answers. We all need to be heard. Not hearing just the words but the emotions and feelings beneath our words.
I have spent most of my life as a minister either speaking or preparing to speak. I even planned my responses to meetings in which I was involved. If the chair said this, then I planned to respond in this way. Do you know that most of what I tried to anticipate never happened? In retrospect I wish that I had listened more and not spent so much time anticipating responses that I seldom used.
I know Jesus spent a lot of time talking. We remember what he said. But what about the times he gave people the gift of reverent and respectful listening? For example, take the woman at the well in Samaria (John 4). All I've ever heard was that she was a bad person because she had to come to the well in the middle of the day. Yet, this is the longest dialogue of Jesus with an individual. She's never named. But Jesus listens with reverence and respect to what she has to say about her faith.
Martha, angry with Jesus because he hadn't come before her brother Lazarus was in the tomb (John 11). Jesus listened with reverence and respect. We remember Jesus' words that he spoke to her, but he listened to her words as well as her feelings.
"Sacred listening"! Live simply, love generously, care deeply, speak kindly, listen reverently and respectfully, and then... leave the rest to God.
Live simply,
Love generously,
Care deeply,
Speak kindly,
Listen reverently and respectfully,
And then... leave the rest to God.
Some of the responses I received from my previous blog focused on the word "leadership". Some of you who responded didn't disagree with the idea of "sacred heart", but many of you said, "I'm quiet", "I don't like to be the chairperson of a committee," or "My idea of a leader is a 'take-charge' person, and that's not who I am."
Do you mind if I disagree with you? A second quality of leadership is "sacred listening". Have you ever been in a group where those who like to "babble on" about situations but never come to any resolutions? Others in the group aren't listening but are just waiting to interrupt and to inject their opinions. After a little while, a person on the edges of the group says, "I've been listening to each of you. Have we ever thought of this as a possible answer to our concerns?" she says.
The room falls quiet. She's nailed it. Now who is the leader in that room? Look at what's happened. People are not listening to each other. People are talking over and around each other. So-called leaders are wanting the credit - wanting to win the argument, and not really listening.
Sacred listening requires that we are aware of our own egos and that we are not formulating responses in our minds and paying little, if any, attention to what someone is saying. The older that I get, the more that I want someone to listen to me. Maybe that person won't have the answers because there are no easy answers. We all need to be heard. Not hearing just the words but the emotions and feelings beneath our words.
I have spent most of my life as a minister either speaking or preparing to speak. I even planned my responses to meetings in which I was involved. If the chair said this, then I planned to respond in this way. Do you know that most of what I tried to anticipate never happened? In retrospect I wish that I had listened more and not spent so much time anticipating responses that I seldom used.
I know Jesus spent a lot of time talking. We remember what he said. But what about the times he gave people the gift of reverent and respectful listening? For example, take the woman at the well in Samaria (John 4). All I've ever heard was that she was a bad person because she had to come to the well in the middle of the day. Yet, this is the longest dialogue of Jesus with an individual. She's never named. But Jesus listens with reverence and respect to what she has to say about her faith.
Martha, angry with Jesus because he hadn't come before her brother Lazarus was in the tomb (John 11). Jesus listened with reverence and respect. We remember Jesus' words that he spoke to her, but he listened to her words as well as her feelings.
"Sacred listening"! Live simply, love generously, care deeply, speak kindly, listen reverently and respectfully, and then... leave the rest to God.
Live simply,
Love generously,
Care deeply,
Speak kindly,
Listen reverently and respectfully,
And then... leave the rest to God.
Comments
Post a Comment